Self Confidence and Self Talk
I made a New Years resolution this year when I committed to using technology a lot more “on my terms”. I wanted to see if blocking out negative feeds helped my own Self Confidence or not. Can positive self talk really make much of a difference?
I’m pleased to say this is something I have stuck to. I regularly tune into podcasts through my phone on the fly, and I have a strict filter on the information I let into my life. It turns out that a level of ignorance does lead to bliss after all.
The other day, I dropped my guard, and I welcomed receipt of a copy of a free magazine in the street. Instead of leafing through the photography and letting my feelings of ‘imposter complex’, ‘body image issues’, and the usual negative gush come out from the pages, I used my new found skill of seeking out something I’m prepared to tolerate and welcome into my space. I found a great lil’ article on self-talk, and as I happened to be walking in a straight line, I went ahead and read it as I walked.
I really enjoyed learning all about Caroline Corcoran’s overview of many expert-takes on Self Talk. I have fallen into all categories of the self talker myself. I had a childhood imaginary friend (Morty, looked like Charlie Brown and the dear old boy always used to let me win at games as well as take the wrap for matters concerning the ‘rents).
You can see for yourself which positive self talk category (or not so positive) you lean toward in the quick reference here, we all do it, so self-talk doesn’t have to be out loud, as adults we often quieten it down to mouthing the words, or simply by just saying things to ourselves without the lip action.
1) THE REPROACHER
Check yourself! This category ain’t so good sweetie. If you only say the cruel stuff like “Silly Bitch”, “Typical you!”, or anything within this realm, Caroline says you are a REPROACHER. You have to start finding a way to be much kinder to yourself. We all irritate ourselves from silly mistakes, botching the second eyeliner wing, but really, there is no need to be so harsh. You wouldn’t say such things to a best friend, so why talk to yourself in such a tone?
2) THE MUTTERER
I adore the sound of silence. I love it like a favourite record. But there are many blossomed who feel really awkward with silence. These are the tappers, the hammers, the people who mutter and offer the rest of their surrounding people a little chime of the hubbub. Many of these people have had experiences in life where they have been unable to focus without sound. Creating their own sound improves focus and comfort levels, although not always to the comfort or patience levels of their neighbours.
3) THE MEMORY JOGGER
Do you jog your memory by asking yourself questions? Then you are a part of this self-talk group. “What was her name again?”
4) THE MANTRA RECITER
Old school post its used to be those chaps who exclaimed: “ooo what a nice cuppa!” But now it is safe to say in our age of heightened awareness we are all a lot more privy to the power of the mantra. Today’s modern women often set a positive mantra and recite this at a time of nervousness or difficulty. I have recently been trying to self-learn EFT tapping with mantras to help me overcome tricky spots in my life. So far so good, and way better than hanging around in group 1 !
5) THE ARGUER
Appearing to be in a serious ruck with an imaginary adversary could be chalked up to some American Horror Story antics (love ya Jessica L!). What we are actually doing here is akin to a dog running on their side in his sleep. We can be expelling the negative vibes, or in some cases planning the next move in chess-like precision. Your call sister, sometimes you gotta have that confrontation.
6) THE VENTER
Muttering expletives lately? You’ve probably been royally ticked off by a situation. This is the adult version to the tantrum. This group is very similar to group 1. Anger is never a healthy choice (it’s always a choice). Stay calm, smile with dignity. It causes fewer wrinkles.
So, where do you place today?
And, where do you plan to place tomorrow?
Tell me right now where you are on the positive self talk scale on social media.
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